Intros Day 4

Can't believe it was only day 4 yesterday - feels like we have know the boy for longer. Posting this the morning after the day before as got caught up last night once we got home with catching up with one of our great friends.

Intros Day 3

Well we arrived at FCs at 9.30 to find a happy boy calling Mummy...Daddy... After about an hour or so there we took him out. Currently typing this sat in Soft Play place near where we live having had him out for over 4 hrs.

Went to supermarket to pick up some bits for lunch and also some more tissues as the boy has the tail end of a cold and also appears to be getting his last 4 teeth :) Then quick stop at delivery office to pick up a parcel from Granny & Grandpa which couldn't be delivered yesterday. We then went off to Mamas & Papas to get a Little Life rucksack - which has a parent strap attached as well as a decent grab handle. The boy will not wear reins (he sits down and refuses to walk) but after yesterday we knew we needed something. My elder nephew has one and it has proved useful at times.

We also went looking for rear view mirrors so we can see him from front in car but no luck in what we want. Suspect I am going web searching tonight for that and also for an Ergobaby carrier for me to use when I don't want buggy out.

Talking of buggies T had great fun putting ours up at first as we both forgot the safety catch on base .... once we remembered it was easy to put up. Back to our day - after we'd done a bit of shopping wandered back to find somewhere to eat our picnic lunch - decided on a local lake with play area. On way there the boy fell asleep as he had done earlier on way to shops. But we also decided his car seat needed adjusting so while Daddy took him for a short walk Mummy adjusted car seat to a better fit. Apparently he spent most of walk asking 'Where Mummy?'. Anyway as they got back it started to rain so our planned picnic took place in car instead:)

Then off we went to soft play area where we spent best part of two hours with him enjoying himself and T & I relaxing a little. Still watching all the time and he kept checking to see if we were still there - which was reassuring in that we are getting a little way to a secure base there. We all enjoyed ourselves. Well other than the first nappy change which was a stinker and involved a vest change as well - for some reason I got that job. T has never changed a nappy and didn't want to deal with it while the boy was anxious - at least that was his excuse. I haven't changed many but do know what I am doing. He has been roundly told it is his jb tomorrow - at least an early one so he gets to grip with it.

We had to leave the soft play place to get the boy back to FC before the other two foster children got back from school (disrupted adoption in their past so they are very anxious apparently). We should mee tthem tomorrow as we are going later, taking the boy out for most of the day till teatime, then watching or (as my sister so kindly put it tonight) helping with evening routine.

Another good day which was rounded out by us visiting the local primary school open evening - it has nursey provision which he will be eligible for next September. This means we need to get his name down on the list. A school I know a little and one where we already know a governor as one of the people from our prep course is a parent governor there. T found it positive and we have his name down (or will when I run form to office in morning - we live around 100 yards from school). Still to decide completely on childcare arrnagements when I go back to work but we shall see. Keeping options open at moment more than anything else.

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Intros Day 2

Longer today on day 2. At FC for 10am and greeted by the boy opening door shouting for Daddy. Spent time playing with him on floor - loves cars & trucks, and noisy toys Then we all went out for walk to local play area. I pushed buggy down there while T & FC chatted. Once in park it was run round and play on everything letting Mummy join in as well as Daddy. Best bit for of us was him walking up ramp to flat bit for zip wire (broken) & confidently jumping/launching himself at us from end (3.5 ft drop). He trusted us both to catch him which was an immense feeling. Only launched himself if one of us there as well. Lots of fun had by all with swings, houses & slides. We spent the time with him while FC sat on bench. Sausage & chips for lunch from local chippy. Eaten in main park with occasional chasing by Mummy or Daddy when he ran off. Fed the ducks with bread with just me as Daddy stayed with buggy.

On way back to FC's house - T pushed this time while I chatted - the boy fell asleep so after getting wellies off his feet laid him on couch while we chatted for a fair while. When he came to happy to curl up on Mummy's lap snuggling till fully awake. Wonderful feeling. Played a while longer before we had to leave (later than planned) as picking up new larger car.

Tomorrow we take the boy out for part of the day from after we arrive till just before other foster kids due back from school. This is a day earlier than expected but we already have car seat etc. so fine I hope.

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Intros Day 1 (First sight)

Well we met the boy this morning for just over an hour before the planning meeting. He came to the door calling for Mummy & Daddy which was lovely. Was very confident with us showing us all his toys - wanted Daddy more but knew he was a child who makes a beeline for men. He was however quite happy to interact with me - and to look at the pictures the FC had taken on our camera. Bless him he was a little confused as used to swiping touch screen to change pictures (FC uses phone mainly) and of course ours is a proper camera with arrow keys to move through. Got some lovely photos today and no doubt we will get more as the week progresses. He can be distracted quite well - avoided a bit of a crying fit by that - and T tells me he has a good strong grip as he was being led round the house by his little finger :)

Although the boy definitely went for T he did let me pick him up and give him a cuddle at the end. TBH getting the attachment quickly to T is important at he will be the one out at work initially indeed he is working first three days of next week. Eid and getting pharmacist locum cover round here doesn't work :D Had more time than planned but still had to run as we needed to have lunch before meeting.

Planning meeting went very well as our SW had a provisional plan which we had seen last week - so other than a couple of timing adjustments everyone was happy. FC is having party Sunday afternoon which is well before placement (6 or 7 days) and we agreed to let her other 2 foster kids come and see where the boy will be living the evening before he moves. They unfortunately had a disruption so are worried about this obviously. I got general agreement to take the boy up to see T at work Tuesday & possibly Wednesday as well as being able to keep him at home on Weds till T comes home provided he is comfortable. Given today I am hopeful but tomorrow is another (longer day - 4 1/2 hrs). We even have our first 4 SW visits after placement in the diaries now.

 

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We are there....

Less than 2 years since we started on this journey (Info evening at LA in December 2011), this afternoon the panel recommended our match with the boy who we were linked with at end of August. That timeline includes a 9 month hiatus from Feb - Oct 2012 before the initial social worker recommended us forward. Since then the process has confounded us more than once - the most recent being under 4 weeks ago when we found ourselves with less than 4 weeks to go to panel rather than panel at end of October.

The night before

Cannot believe we are now at this point. Trying to go to sleep night before matching panel - and in a weeks time it should be night before Intros start. I have 4 days left a work till I finish for at least 41 weeks. I had 2 weeks annual leave left which I am using up for first 2 weeks. Plan is the boy will be moved in by 21st Oct but both T & I are hoping for Friday or Saturday before then in our hearts if things go well. Should know more about plan tomorrow as our SW was hoping to have basic plan for us to see then.

Panel not till 2.30 pm so got to occupy ourselves for morning but we have plans that may involve car buying. T was a little shocked by how much boot space buggy took up. After some test diving have found car we want & hopefully the guy who has sold us last 3 cars will be able to do us a good deal on 18 month old version we have found which is specked as we would like at a price we can afford. Now to see what he offers for my current car which he sold us 4 years ago....

Short post today and not on theme unsurprisingly given we are not adopters yet.

 

Getting there

Well where are we as we get closer to matching panel and Introductions. After this evening we have a toddler bed in the boy's bedroom and a backpack to carry him in thanks to the local selling group.



On Sunday we got to collect a Maxi-Cosi Loola pushchair that I picked up for £25 on eBay. So think we are getting there in terms of furniture - need to pick up another Trofast unit from Ikea for dinning room and possibly one more for the boy's room depending on how many toys he comes with. We might get a better idea of that on Monday when we meet his foster carer. I met the medical advisor today (date and time changed with short notice so T couldn't come) who seemed to have no real concerns - she said he is a not a high risk child having never lived with birth family and only moved foster carers once at 5 weeks old. He has secure attachment to his foster carer which is good for us although we know transferring that attachment to us is going to take work.

Cannot believe that by 2 weeks time I will have stopped work and potentially in 4 weeks we will be looking at the boy moving in. I've had an interesting week at work - ended up sorting my own cover for a module that starts on Monday afternoon yesterday. Thankfully it wasn't too bad but I could slaughter the colleague whose responsibility it is - he has made so much work for us programme directors this last year it is unreal. Thankfully he hasn't reapplied for his position with merger so he will not be in position come 1st October.

It is coming fast now - and even though I do not start teaching next week I still have quite a bit to do at work. Getting there though but have agreed to write two sets of exam papers - which is fine as I shall be marking the summer ones probably anyway. Hoping over weekend round test driving cars to get some bedding for the bed. We're test driving as we want to decide what we want for when we do replace car in 4-6 months time. Decided to do it now without the boy in tow so it should be a little easier.

I am very excited and also very nervous. the baby daughter of one of the couples form our prep course (whose house we drive past every time we go anywhere) came home today and another couple must be getting close to moving elder son in. We were last to panel of 6 couples but will be 4th to matching panel..... As I have found throughout the last year the process likes to confound us and change our expectations of timing frequently. 17 days till I will have had first sight of the boy....

Relaxing

Well the theme for todays #waso is relax. Which is a good thing to tell me at moment as I try to get everything done in 4-6 weeks less time than I thought I had. 3 weeks today (13/9) by this time (7pm) I will have finished work for at least 41 weeks....

Relaxation at moment for me is usually playing computer games (MMOs mainly with our friend P) - nothing better than hitting stuff after a bad day at work :D I started playing MMOs about 7 years back with Lord of the Rings Online (big Tolkien fan) and have played a number both seriously (raiding regularly etc.) and these days much more casually (pottering around levelling and doing bits & pieces). We brought lifetime subs to LOTRO so have nothing to pay there and tend to stick to free-to-play MMOs now.

However beyond MMOs relaxing is also reading and various crafts: cross-stitch embroidery & card-making mainly. Reading has been one of my main activities since I was 2 1/2 & Mum taught me to read as she apparently got fed up with me correcting her when she made a mistake reading to me (I have a very good memory). As she puts it I haven't stopped reading since - it is something I still enjoy doing and I always have at least one book on the go - often 2 or 3 - one actual book, one on the Kindle and one on the Kindle app on my iPad.

Embroidery is something Mum started me on when I was 10/11 and I nearly always have something on the go. Takes me forever to do one but it is something I tend to do while watching the little bit of TV that I do. The picture in this post is of an embroidery I finished a few years back (2007) which I gave to Grandma for Christmas that year. it has come back to me after her death earlier this year.

Card-making is something I just have periodic blitzes at - made a load of Christmas cards a few weeks back so we had a stock before Christmas crept up on us. This was when we thought our boy would be moving in with us mid to late November. That all changed when we got the phone call last week.

Still playing odd bits of MMOs at moment but we are using a lot of our spare time getting jobs finished round the house. The boy's room is mainly finished - other than something for him to sleep in as we are waiting to hear from FC about that. But we have sorted out the three laundry bags of clothes from my sister (whose elder son is 2 yrs older and younger son is 10 months younger). So there are clothes in the wardrobe, in the chest of drawers and in the cupboard. Plus many more (larger sizes) packed away in vaccie bags on shelf in wardrobe. We've installed and got working an IP camera to monitor room and got two of the Ikea Trofast units in and fixed to wall. Expecting to need more but waiting to see - will sort early on in Intros if needed. Plus we want one in dining room for toys downstairs. Today's (Sunday 15/9) plan is a quick trip out to local outlet place as I need more casual shoes - I own one pair of walking & my walking boots and that is it other than work shoes. Come back via Costco as we need coffee beans for machine, and then loft sorting time. We brought this house of my parents and there was stuff left in loft then (mainly children's stuff I will admit). Plus my brother lived with us for about 2 years split over two periods so we have several boxes belonging to him that he can have now he has his own house. This should free up some space for stuff we will need to store. Little worried how much the boy will come with as been told my his SW that his FC is not planning to take any more little ones - just to see out the 2 she has on long-term foster care. So we could end up with loads - hence the need to make sure we have space. My in-laws laughed yesterday when we were discussing this with them. Thankfully after my sister's experience they seem to be more accepting of what we are saying about things like not picking the boy up initially or giving him anything. Then again my sister-in-law is a yr 2 (was reception) teacher in a deprived area of Liverpool so has experience with the social services & foster care system. She also seems to be getting herself clued up on adoption which helps us no end. Ok this post has veered somewhat around and taken me nearly 2 days to complete (now Sunday morning) but that is my life at moment. 13 more working days to go before it all starts.....