Less than 2 years since we started on this journey (Info evening at LA in December 2011), this afternoon the panel recommended our match with the boy who we were linked with at end of August. That timeline includes a 9 month hiatus from Feb - Oct 2012 before the initial social worker recommended us forward. Since then the process has confounded us more than once - the most recent being under 4 weeks ago when we found ourselves with less than 4 weeks to go to panel rather than panel at end of October.
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Monday, 30 September 2013
Sunday, 15 September 2013
Relaxing
Well the theme for todays #waso is relax. Which is a good thing to tell me at moment as I try to get everything done in 4-6 weeks less time than I thought I had. 3 weeks today (13/9) by this time (7pm) I will have finished work for at least 41 weeks....
Relaxation at moment for me is usually playing computer games (MMOs mainly with our friend P) - nothing better than hitting stuff after a bad day at work :D I started playing MMOs about 7 years back with Lord of the Rings Online (big Tolkien fan) and have played a number both seriously (raiding regularly etc.) and these days much more casually (pottering around levelling and doing bits & pieces). We brought lifetime subs to LOTRO so have nothing to pay there and tend to stick to free-to-play MMOs now.
Relaxation at moment for me is usually playing computer games (MMOs mainly with our friend P) - nothing better than hitting stuff after a bad day at work :D I started playing MMOs about 7 years back with Lord of the Rings Online (big Tolkien fan) and have played a number both seriously (raiding regularly etc.) and these days much more casually (pottering around levelling and doing bits & pieces). We brought lifetime subs to LOTRO so have nothing to pay there and tend to stick to free-to-play MMOs now.
However beyond MMOs relaxing is also reading and various crafts: cross-stitch embroidery & card-making mainly. Reading has been one of my main activities since I was 2 1/2 & Mum taught me to read as she apparently got fed up with me correcting her when she made a mistake reading to me (I have a very good memory). As she puts it I haven't stopped reading since - it is something I still enjoy doing and I always have at least one book on the go - often 2 or 3 - one actual book, one on the Kindle and one on the Kindle app on my iPad.
Embroidery is something Mum started me on when I was 10/11 and I nearly always have something on the go. Takes me forever to do one but it is something I tend to do while watching the little bit of TV that I do. The picture in this post is of an embroidery I finished a few years back (2007) which I gave to Grandma for Christmas that year. it has come back to me after her death earlier this year.
Card-making is something I just have periodic blitzes at - made a load of Christmas cards a few weeks back so we had a stock before Christmas crept up on us. This was when we thought our boy would be moving in with us mid to late November. That all changed when we got the phone call last week.
Still playing odd bits of MMOs at moment but we are using a lot of our spare time getting jobs finished round the house. The boy's room is mainly finished - other than something for him to sleep in as we are waiting to hear from FC about that. But we have sorted out the three laundry bags of clothes from my sister (whose elder son is 2 yrs older and younger son is 10 months younger). So there are clothes in the wardrobe, in the chest of drawers and in the cupboard. Plus many more (larger sizes) packed away in vaccie bags on shelf in wardrobe. We've installed and got working an IP camera to monitor room and got two of the Ikea Trofast units in and fixed to wall. Expecting to need more but waiting to see - will sort early on in Intros if needed. Plus we want one in dining room for toys downstairs.
Today's (Sunday 15/9) plan is a quick trip out to local outlet place as I need more casual shoes - I own one pair of walking & my walking boots and that is it other than work shoes. Come back via Costco as we need coffee beans for machine, and then loft sorting time. We brought this house of my parents and there was stuff left in loft then (mainly children's stuff I will admit). Plus my brother lived with us for about 2 years split over two periods so we have several boxes belonging to him that he can have now he has his own house. This should free up some space for stuff we will need to store.
Little worried how much the boy will come with as been told my his SW that his FC is not planning to take any more little ones - just to see out the 2 she has on long-term foster care. So we could end up with loads - hence the need to make sure we have space. My in-laws laughed yesterday when we were discussing this with them. Thankfully after my sister's experience they seem to be more accepting of what we are saying about things like not picking the boy up initially or giving him anything. Then again my sister-in-law is a yr 2 (was reception) teacher in a deprived area of Liverpool so has experience with the social services & foster care system. She also seems to be getting herself clued up on adoption which helps us no end.
Ok this post has veered somewhat around and taken me nearly 2 days to complete (now Sunday morning) but that is my life at moment. 13 more working days to go before it all starts.....
Wednesday, 4 September 2013
Reeling once more
T has decided the adoption process likes to confound us. There we were happy we had a link and expecting a late Oct/early Nov panel date. That was until today when in Conwy. T tried to answer a call from our SW but failed - she left a message asking him to ring back which he did promptly.
Our son's SW wants panel on 30th Sept and Intros to start a week later as his FC is going away for a week from 26th Oct and they feel respite to Intros would not be a good thing - could we mange this. Cue two people on Conwy harbour front hurriedly phoning work while on holiday. Fine for me - T has the complication of Eid-al-Adha which is predicted to be around 15th Oct. One cannot get pharmacist locums where we live around either Eid. Cue call back to our SW who understood this and went away to talk to her manager and also medical advisor as the short notice might mean going to panel without meeting her.
We wandered round the Castle at Conwy and then down to Bodnant Gardens. Driving back through Snowdonia at a point we actually had signal, we got an email from our SW telling us she had spoken to her stand-in manager (annual leave for actual manager) who felt we could manage without T for 3 days during second week of Intros and she had also got us a medical advisor appointment the week before proposed panel. We then went looking for phone signal around foot of Snowdon - ended up in car park in Llanberis. Promptly spoke to our SW again as she phoned following up on email to check about FC meeting times. Then T forwarded email to his line manager and company boss, following up by speaking to line manager directly. Meanwhile I finally told my mother (issues with her spreading too many details round family so is kept a bit out of loop) that we had a link and the timescale. Phoned Dad (he is away for work) before sending emails to three people at work who needed to know.
Given work a fine conundrum to solve - I was teaching 2 modules in 6 weeks - now I am not with under 3 weeks to go before term starts. The decision to go with new timescale is absolutely right as we do not want our son disrupted as much as respite could do. Ok have around 4 1/2 weeks to do stuff we thought we had 9 weeks+ to deal with but we will get there. What happens happens for a reason and this match just feels so right to us.
Our son's SW wants panel on 30th Sept and Intros to start a week later as his FC is going away for a week from 26th Oct and they feel respite to Intros would not be a good thing - could we mange this. Cue two people on Conwy harbour front hurriedly phoning work while on holiday. Fine for me - T has the complication of Eid-al-Adha which is predicted to be around 15th Oct. One cannot get pharmacist locums where we live around either Eid. Cue call back to our SW who understood this and went away to talk to her manager and also medical advisor as the short notice might mean going to panel without meeting her.
We wandered round the Castle at Conwy and then down to Bodnant Gardens. Driving back through Snowdonia at a point we actually had signal, we got an email from our SW telling us she had spoken to her stand-in manager (annual leave for actual manager) who felt we could manage without T for 3 days during second week of Intros and she had also got us a medical advisor appointment the week before proposed panel. We then went looking for phone signal around foot of Snowdon - ended up in car park in Llanberis. Promptly spoke to our SW again as she phoned following up on email to check about FC meeting times. Then T forwarded email to his line manager and company boss, following up by speaking to line manager directly. Meanwhile I finally told my mother (issues with her spreading too many details round family so is kept a bit out of loop) that we had a link and the timescale. Phoned Dad (he is away for work) before sending emails to three people at work who needed to know.
Given work a fine conundrum to solve - I was teaching 2 modules in 6 weeks - now I am not with under 3 weeks to go before term starts. The decision to go with new timescale is absolutely right as we do not want our son disrupted as much as respite could do. Ok have around 4 1/2 weeks to do stuff we thought we had 9 weeks+ to deal with but we will get there. What happens happens for a reason and this match just feels so right to us.
Friday, 9 August 2013
Going back in time…
Well we got the official letter yesterday to confirm we were approved - and a load of information plus some forms to sign :) On extract of minutes, it was nice to see the reasons for approval (7) and no concerns at all :D However it did show that it had actually taken us 9 months to get to this point - from application to approval which I hadn't realised. Thought it was November we put application in and in fact it was October (before prep course). I did say my memory is a sieve......
Saturday, 3 August 2013
This week
Warning very rambling post - which is an indication of my state of mind at the moment.....
As T put it earlier this has been one interesting week. Starting with panel on Monday which was a real high and is still sinking in to be honest even if we had phone call on Thursday to tell it it was all final. Following that I worked Tuesday then have had three days with only partial working ( thankfully summer with no project students). I had what I thought was a migraine Wednesday morning which wasn't that unexpected - I tend to get them after stress has calmed down. But it never properly went and got worse so I looked at blood pressure. It was up beyond the tipping point for me so off to the Doctors I trundled on Thursday to get my dosage increased as we had thought may happen. Slowly sorting but I wish I didn't get these spikes in BP. Hopefully this dosage should keep me stable- T (being a pharmacist) has always said I may need a higher dose than I was initially on.
As T put it earlier this has been one interesting week. Starting with panel on Monday which was a real high and is still sinking in to be honest even if we had phone call on Thursday to tell it it was all final. Following that I worked Tuesday then have had three days with only partial working ( thankfully summer with no project students). I had what I thought was a migraine Wednesday morning which wasn't that unexpected - I tend to get them after stress has calmed down. But it never properly went and got worse so I looked at blood pressure. It was up beyond the tipping point for me so off to the Doctors I trundled on Thursday to get my dosage increased as we had thought may happen. Slowly sorting but I wish I didn't get these spikes in BP. Hopefully this dosage should keep me stable- T (being a pharmacist) has always said I may need a higher dose than I was initially on.
Thursday, 1 August 2013
Today is Yorkshire Day
Well today is August 1st and hence it is Yorkshire Day. I was born in Harrogate and lived there till I was 21 months old. Then we moved away and all over Eastern England till we moved back up to Yorkshire when I was 17. I've basically lived here ever since (21 years now and counting). Mind you I am the one of us (two younger siblings) who sounds least like they come from Yorkshire even if I am the only one born here....
In many ways Yorkshire has been the steady place in my life - I lived in 8 houses with my parents before I finally brought my own place - and went to 7 schools before university. Throughout all that I had family in harrogate until after we moved back up here. Two parts of the country are 'home' to me - here in Yorkshire particularly amongst the Pennine areas and East Anglia (Norfolk & northern Suffolk). They are the areas my grandparents lived in so I have many memories of them - well pictures in my mind.
In many ways Yorkshire has been the steady place in my life - I lived in 8 houses with my parents before I finally brought my own place - and went to 7 schools before university. Throughout all that I had family in harrogate until after we moved back up here. Two parts of the country are 'home' to me - here in Yorkshire particularly amongst the Pennine areas and East Anglia (Norfolk & northern Suffolk). They are the areas my grandparents lived in so I have many memories of them - well pictures in my mind.
Sunday, 28 July 2013
The night before
Well we are now within 12 hrs of our panel. I am nervous but also still excited. Had a great meeting with three of the other couples from our prep group tonight. Two couples missing - one starts Introductions tomorrow and N wasn't feeling well so backed out and the other couple are away we think.
Of those of us who were there - one couple has prospective matching panel 5 weeks tomorrow & 1 is at similar point to us in finding out more about a child. Third couple has yet to see a profile they want to explore further. We had a good time chatting & catching up - become a group who are there to support each other as best we can. Indeed one couple met my sister & brother-in-law as they wanted to meet an adoptive family. They really appreciated it from what was said tonight which made me happy as I started that process by asking N if she would.
Still feeling very positive over our potential link who just seems right to us. Hoping we might get a bit more info tomorrow. Suppose I better try to sleep if I can....
Friday, 12 July 2013
Reeling again
And not for the first time during the process (back loaded some of my blogs from private blog covering the process thus far).....
We saw our SW on Wednesday to discuss our PAR - only a few factual changes to make as we both felt it was a good reflection of us. Although T did say seeing everything written down that we had been through with my health and his job fun since we got together makes him realise quite how much there was. The reassuring thing for me in report was that medical advisor just commented that my ongoing (well-managed) chronic conditions would need discussing through the home study. Our SW commented that I had never had to cancel due to ill-heath and had seemed pretty good throughout the period - which to be honest is true. The last 18 months or so I have felt so much better - many less migraines which I can see from the lack of sick days on my planner at work. Ok had a bit of a blip recently thanks to a very bad hayfever season - but the nasal douching my doctor suggested has made a real difference to me in that I am no longer living with a low grade permanent sinus headache. This does make a difference to my migraines as well as the build up could trigger them at this time of the year. At least roses (my favourite flower) do not give me any issues - given the number in our front garden at moment.
We saw our SW on Wednesday to discuss our PAR - only a few factual changes to make as we both felt it was a good reflection of us. Although T did say seeing everything written down that we had been through with my health and his job fun since we got together makes him realise quite how much there was. The reassuring thing for me in report was that medical advisor just commented that my ongoing (well-managed) chronic conditions would need discussing through the home study. Our SW commented that I had never had to cancel due to ill-heath and had seemed pretty good throughout the period - which to be honest is true. The last 18 months or so I have felt so much better - many less migraines which I can see from the lack of sick days on my planner at work. Ok had a bit of a blip recently thanks to a very bad hayfever season - but the nasal douching my doctor suggested has made a real difference to me in that I am no longer living with a low grade permanent sinus headache. This does make a difference to my migraines as well as the build up could trigger them at this time of the year. At least roses (my favourite flower) do not give me any issues - given the number in our front garden at moment.
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Thoughts as the first evening draws near
Well it is National Adoption Week so seeing some stuff around about adoption – as well as from my sister who is posting parts of her blog that she kept as she & M went through the process. Today’s post was appropriately about the preparation course so I have a little idea about what to expect although things could have changed in the nearly 3 years since they did theirs.
We start ours in under 3 hours as I write this – still at work but will be heading home shortly as got a couple of things I want to do before I head out to the unit for 6.30pm. T is of course coming straight from work – and has promised me he will get away as quickly as he can – his shop shuts at 6pm. I suspect he has talked to the social worker already as he was the one to sort out our feedback session -which was awkward given the fact that I stopped one day due to a PhD viva and the second day could only make afternoon as I am lecturing in morning. November has turned into a hectic month what with the prep course, the usual MSc board of examiners for me to chair (that’s tomorrow), 2 PhD vivas where I am internal examiner and a placement student to visit. On top of my usual increased workload due to 2 modules being block taught in weeks 7 – 12. Such is life – hence one of the reasons I was semi-hoping for a prep course after Christmas. But as we said at the time if we were offered November we would make it work so we shall.
Will probably post again tomorrow after first evening. H is arriving tomorrow as well I believe given the alumni event on Friday which is good as T will have company on Thursday while I am other end of the country on visit.
P.S. Got that official application form in soon after we got it – and I took CRB forms + relevant documents to the unit last Friday plus booked our medicals. So that clock has started ticking…..
We start ours in under 3 hours as I write this – still at work but will be heading home shortly as got a couple of things I want to do before I head out to the unit for 6.30pm. T is of course coming straight from work – and has promised me he will get away as quickly as he can – his shop shuts at 6pm. I suspect he has talked to the social worker already as he was the one to sort out our feedback session -which was awkward given the fact that I stopped one day due to a PhD viva and the second day could only make afternoon as I am lecturing in morning. November has turned into a hectic month what with the prep course, the usual MSc board of examiners for me to chair (that’s tomorrow), 2 PhD vivas where I am internal examiner and a placement student to visit. On top of my usual increased workload due to 2 modules being block taught in weeks 7 – 12. Such is life – hence one of the reasons I was semi-hoping for a prep course after Christmas. But as we said at the time if we were offered November we would make it work so we shall.
Will probably post again tomorrow after first evening. H is arriving tomorrow as well I believe given the alumni event on Friday which is good as T will have company on Thursday while I am other end of the country on visit.
P.S. Got that official application form in soon after we got it – and I took CRB forms + relevant documents to the unit last Friday plus booked our medicals. So that clock has started ticking…..
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