Well we got the official letter yesterday to confirm we were approved - and a load of information plus some forms to sign :) On extract of minutes, it was nice to see the reasons for approval (7) and no concerns at all :D However it did show that it had actually taken us 9 months to get to this point - from application to approval which I hadn't realised. Thought it was November we put application in and in fact it was October (before prep course). I did say my memory is a sieve......
Showing posts with label approval process. Show all posts
Showing posts with label approval process. Show all posts
Friday, 9 August 2013
Thursday, 1 August 2013
Today is Yorkshire Day
Well today is August 1st and hence it is Yorkshire Day. I was born in Harrogate and lived there till I was 21 months old. Then we moved away and all over Eastern England till we moved back up to Yorkshire when I was 17. I've basically lived here ever since (21 years now and counting). Mind you I am the one of us (two younger siblings) who sounds least like they come from Yorkshire even if I am the only one born here....
In many ways Yorkshire has been the steady place in my life - I lived in 8 houses with my parents before I finally brought my own place - and went to 7 schools before university. Throughout all that I had family in harrogate until after we moved back up here. Two parts of the country are 'home' to me - here in Yorkshire particularly amongst the Pennine areas and East Anglia (Norfolk & northern Suffolk). They are the areas my grandparents lived in so I have many memories of them - well pictures in my mind.
In many ways Yorkshire has been the steady place in my life - I lived in 8 houses with my parents before I finally brought my own place - and went to 7 schools before university. Throughout all that I had family in harrogate until after we moved back up here. Two parts of the country are 'home' to me - here in Yorkshire particularly amongst the Pennine areas and East Anglia (Norfolk & northern Suffolk). They are the areas my grandparents lived in so I have many memories of them - well pictures in my mind.
Tuesday, 30 July 2013
Panel
Well first thing to say is we are now approved. As someone I read recently said it is our adoption equivalent of the blue line on a pregnancy test. We were first panel and being us arrived stupidly early. Ok partly as we were on train as planning to go into town for a meal to celebrate we hoped.
Then had long wait for questions although did spend time discussing next steps in our potential link - and possible dates to meet his SW. Panel was running a bit late so we got our questions about the time we had to go in and hadn't finished discussing them when chair came down to talk to us.She explained what was going to happen - introductions then questions then a chance for us to add anything further then we would go to other waiting room while panel asked our SW something in references. This was no surprise to us as there is a potential safeguarding issue within the family of one of our referees ( not referee herself) which was in her reference so we had expected something on that. Once we had finished with questions we went down to panel and found ourselves faced by 13 people (seemed to be more observers than we expected & two minute takers).
Friday, 5 July 2013
Pets during approval process
First time post and first time link to #WASO- at least on a public blog. I will eventually transfer over some of the posts from my private blog that I have written during our process. I have fits and starts of writing - depending on what is going on my my life.
We (being T my husband and myself) are approaching the end of the approval process within our local LA. We live in Yorkshire and are first-time adopters with no birth children, and no experience of IVF or other fertility treatments as we decided that they were not a good idea for us. I work in higher education and T is a healthcare professional. When I say we are approaching end - panel is in a little over 3 weeks and we received our report on Wednesday. Meeting with our social worker next Wednesday to discuss the report - which is pretty fair just needs a few factual changes (and the odd typo).
We (being T my husband and myself) are approaching the end of the approval process within our local LA. We live in Yorkshire and are first-time adopters with no birth children, and no experience of IVF or other fertility treatments as we decided that they were not a good idea for us. I work in higher education and T is a healthcare professional. When I say we are approaching end - panel is in a little over 3 weeks and we received our report on Wednesday. Meeting with our social worker next Wednesday to discuss the report - which is pretty fair just needs a few factual changes (and the odd typo).
Friday, 24 May 2013
A tardy Update
So so grateful this semester is over with. I am not sure how I have coped given a stupid timetable and effectively working 4.5 days most weeks (less after Easter when it was 4 days mainly).
But anyway we got through the home study – after my last post we had one session before Easter thanks to a somewhat heavy snow fall in this area the Friday of week before Easter. so the one meeting we did have we looked at our Support network and also a bit more about us as a couple in terms of leisure activities. Our support network is possibly not as wide locally as many but I am slowly working on that with going to the Adoption UK support group regularly and I am sure it will grow once we have a child placed. As to leisure – I do a fair amount (orchestra, Brownies & school governor) and am hopeful all will carry on. the most difficult will be Brownies due to timing but as T says all we can do is wait to see as it all depends on child. SW herself said it was obvious that the one I didn't want to go for my own sanity was orchestra – which is so true. It was something I carried on through the years of illness and something very close to my heart. It relaxes me and gives me great joy as well as making me forget about other things for 2.5 hrs on a Monday. One can’t be thinking about work when you are playing. For T it will be the sailing – he needs that for similar reasons to my and my music. Also discussed health to some degree.
But anyway we got through the home study – after my last post we had one session before Easter thanks to a somewhat heavy snow fall in this area the Friday of week before Easter. so the one meeting we did have we looked at our Support network and also a bit more about us as a couple in terms of leisure activities. Our support network is possibly not as wide locally as many but I am slowly working on that with going to the Adoption UK support group regularly and I am sure it will grow once we have a child placed. As to leisure – I do a fair amount (orchestra, Brownies & school governor) and am hopeful all will carry on. the most difficult will be Brownies due to timing but as T says all we can do is wait to see as it all depends on child. SW herself said it was obvious that the one I didn't want to go for my own sanity was orchestra – which is so true. It was something I carried on through the years of illness and something very close to my heart. It relaxes me and gives me great joy as well as making me forget about other things for 2.5 hrs on a Monday. One can’t be thinking about work when you are playing. For T it will be the sailing – he needs that for similar reasons to my and my music. Also discussed health to some degree.
Wednesday, 13 March 2013
Where we are....
Been meaning to update this for a while but work is hectic this semester thanks to a stupid teaching load. One thing the adoption process has done is made me take a hard look at my teaching load and make a serious request for it to be modified.
Anyway we finished our SEF finally at end of January. It was an interesting document to write and I was grateful to my sister for giving me her chronology and schools stuff. Made writing mine a tad easier as I only had to ask Mum about one date – when we moved from where I was born to where N was born. A lot of the SEF made my finally put down on paper some of the issues I have had over the years with everything that has gone on in my life.
Anyway that went off to our social worker and then we waited for first meeting on 8th February. Well actually first we had a meeting with most of the rest of the prep group other than the one older couple. That was a great evening and it was brilliant to find out all of us there had SWs and most were 2-3 meetings into home study. Just us and one other couple hadn't started. Ended up with T inviting them all to our house in March for a meal.
Anyway we finished our SEF finally at end of January. It was an interesting document to write and I was grateful to my sister for giving me her chronology and schools stuff. Made writing mine a tad easier as I only had to ask Mum about one date – when we moved from where I was born to where N was born. A lot of the SEF made my finally put down on paper some of the issues I have had over the years with everything that has gone on in my life.
Anyway that went off to our social worker and then we waited for first meeting on 8th February. Well actually first we had a meeting with most of the rest of the prep group other than the one older couple. That was a great evening and it was brilliant to find out all of us there had SWs and most were 2-3 meetings into home study. Just us and one other couple hadn't started. Ended up with T inviting them all to our house in March for a meal.
Sunday, 9 December 2012
Reeling
Well a positive feedback session last week (30th November) which went really well. Apparently we both came across as enthusiastic and making good use of the contact with N & M. There was nothing at all negative which made us both feel good about things. The point was re-iterated that we would get a letter in the new year telling us how long the wait for a social worker would be.
However today we came back from Christmas shopping and there was a letter on the mat which looked suspiciously like one from Adoption & Fostering. I opened it and it most definitely was. We have a social worker already – as of Thursday (6th Dec.). She is one of those from the course and someone we both feel we can get on with. Waiting for her to contact us this week and we shall see what takes us. Plus we have to get on with the SEF now….
However today we came back from Christmas shopping and there was a letter on the mat which looked suspiciously like one from Adoption & Fostering. I opened it and it most definitely was. We have a social worker already – as of Thursday (6th Dec.). She is one of those from the course and someone we both feel we can get on with. Waiting for her to contact us this week and we shall see what takes us. Plus we have to get on with the SEF now….
Friday, 23 November 2012
Adoption Prep Course Pt. 5
The last evening of the course which was last night. Didn't start out well for me as I was still chasing out students from lab at 5.50pm and needed to be at unit at 6.30pm – it was raining hard so wasn't certain how good it would be. In end was fine but did stress me out a little – in fact I was third person to arrive – and T beat some others as well. Main part of evening was an adopted young man (just 18) with his mother coming to talk to us about his experience. He was very open and honest about the issues he had starting around 14 and the help he got from the after adoption support people to do some life work so he could understand where he came from (adopted aged 6 months and no lifebook). He told us that his Mum had talked about adoption for as long as he could really remember and built it up gradually in an age-appropriate way whereas someone he knew at school had it all flung at him at once. He was really good about the way he felt like a part of his adoptive family and for now had no real desire to find out about his birth family His older (adopted) brother has done so but partly because he has a baby on the way and wanted to know more for that reason. He also emphasised how valuable adoption was and how he encouraged us all to move forward with it if we were 100% committed. It was fascinating listening to him I will admit and really struck home about how close he was to his family.
Adoption Prep Course Pt. 4
Posting this a few days after the event - been a busy week is my only excuse – oh and the iPad needed charging so didn't post from that in bed as I have been doing
Today was about the remainder of the process on the whole. We started looking at our ecomaps (support networks) – it was interesting to see how other people had done theirs. We had the only fully computerised one – unsurprisingly for us as we are both very much happy on a computer than handwriting stuff.
Today was about the remainder of the process on the whole. We started looking at our ecomaps (support networks) – it was interesting to see how other people had done theirs. We had the only fully computerised one – unsurprisingly for us as we are both very much happy on a computer than handwriting stuff.
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
Adoption Prep Course Pt 3
An interesting day. Started off, late due to traffic issues, with looking at our significant objects. Talked about them and why they were important. Then we looked at attachment and what a secure base in arousal-relaxation cycle is and why it is important. Then looked at the effect of a non-responsive adult in the cycle and the effect of this in attachment. Talked about attachment issues and what problems they can bring. Then we divided into four groups and each one looked at what needs a child needs from adults in terms of needs: physical, social & emotional. Each group had a different age (0-2, 2-5, 5-10 & 10+). I was in group 2 and we came up with a number of needs fairly easily. It was interesting to note things like love & affection, food etc came up in all groups as we built the wall. Then we discussed what missing bricks would mean to a looked-after or adopted child (see the wall for a good explanation). Talked about how we could help our adopted child to recover those ,issuing bricks and what after adoption support there was. SW emphasised the need for early intervention & not leaving it to crisis point. Then another social worker (who was N & M's original one who I talked to during their home study) talked with us about 'Theraplay' which is a 'here& now' therapy based on simple games in a structured way with a child. Very interesting and something I think we would use.
Monday, 12 November 2012
Adoption Prep Course Pt 2.
Today was a little emotional at times, but interesting. Started looking at the adoption circle or triangle and the links between adopters child and birth parents. Interesting short discussion before moving onto talk from former community social worker (now an adoption social worker) talking about a family she had worked with and all the steps the eventually led to younger sister being adopted although older sibling remains in children’s home. It was fascinating to hear about all the issues involved and quite how long the process took, in part due to the difficulty in gathering evidence of neglect that we heard a little of last week.
Then we split into 2 groups (male & female) and talked about our path to adoption. It was insightful to hear 4 talk about IVF and their experiences with it including 1 ectopic pregnancy. Our route is somewhat different as we never went down the IVF as we had decided beforehand that it wasn’t for us. Plus we had always seen adoption as an alternative path to being parents. After all I had been thinking about before I even met T. The other 2 couples have birth children – one tragic case of a early birth with severe medical problems which so far has required 20 operations plus a second child who died aged 7 weeks. Second couple have 2 birth children – one with issues, but mother had always thought of adopting so they are exploring to see if it was right or them. She was the one came prepared with tissues which I think we all needed.
Then we split into 2 groups (male & female) and talked about our path to adoption. It was insightful to hear 4 talk about IVF and their experiences with it including 1 ectopic pregnancy. Our route is somewhat different as we never went down the IVF as we had decided beforehand that it wasn’t for us. Plus we had always seen adoption as an alternative path to being parents. After all I had been thinking about before I even met T. The other 2 couples have birth children – one tragic case of a early birth with severe medical problems which so far has required 20 operations plus a second child who died aged 7 weeks. Second couple have 2 birth children – one with issues, but mother had always thought of adopting so they are exploring to see if it was right or them. She was the one came prepared with tissues which I think we all needed.
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Adoption prep Course Pt 1.
Arrived before T as expected given he was coming straight from work. Was met by one social worker who took me down to where we were meeting and introduced me to the other 2 involved in running the course – 2 from the adoption team and 1 from adoption support team. Several people were already in the room and in the end it turned out to be 14 of us. Variety of background – two couples with birth children, and at least two who had attempted IVF as I found out talking to them. Two other couples from the same place as us – and indeed one couple who live a stone’s throw away.
We started off (after toilets, fire exit and introduction to what the course was about) being asked to split into pairs and talk to someone we didn’t know and to find out 4 facts about them. The guy I talked to was a different background from me – married 4 years, been through 3 failed IVF attempts, worked in his family used car business and his wife was a beautician. Then it was onto a short quiz – some of which T & I could answer and some we got wrong – like the number of children in care in England (hadn’t spotted the key word England), and how many were adopted from care last year which we overestimated. Then we went on to talk about our hopes and fears for the course – lots of hopes and a smaller set of fears – many of which we had in common which was reassuring. Things like isolation, finding ourselves at different points as a couple, being rejected.
We started off (after toilets, fire exit and introduction to what the course was about) being asked to split into pairs and talk to someone we didn’t know and to find out 4 facts about them. The guy I talked to was a different background from me – married 4 years, been through 3 failed IVF attempts, worked in his family used car business and his wife was a beautician. Then it was onto a short quiz – some of which T & I could answer and some we got wrong – like the number of children in care in England (hadn’t spotted the key word England), and how many were adopted from care last year which we overestimated. Then we went on to talk about our hopes and fears for the course – lots of hopes and a smaller set of fears – many of which we had in common which was reassuring. Things like isolation, finding ourselves at different points as a couple, being rejected.
Thoughts as the first evening draws near
Well it is National Adoption Week so seeing some stuff around about adoption – as well as from my sister who is posting parts of her blog that she kept as she & M went through the process. Today’s post was appropriately about the preparation course so I have a little idea about what to expect although things could have changed in the nearly 3 years since they did theirs.
We start ours in under 3 hours as I write this – still at work but will be heading home shortly as got a couple of things I want to do before I head out to the unit for 6.30pm. T is of course coming straight from work – and has promised me he will get away as quickly as he can – his shop shuts at 6pm. I suspect he has talked to the social worker already as he was the one to sort out our feedback session -which was awkward given the fact that I stopped one day due to a PhD viva and the second day could only make afternoon as I am lecturing in morning. November has turned into a hectic month what with the prep course, the usual MSc board of examiners for me to chair (that’s tomorrow), 2 PhD vivas where I am internal examiner and a placement student to visit. On top of my usual increased workload due to 2 modules being block taught in weeks 7 – 12. Such is life – hence one of the reasons I was semi-hoping for a prep course after Christmas. But as we said at the time if we were offered November we would make it work so we shall.
Will probably post again tomorrow after first evening. H is arriving tomorrow as well I believe given the alumni event on Friday which is good as T will have company on Thursday while I am other end of the country on visit.
P.S. Got that official application form in soon after we got it – and I took CRB forms + relevant documents to the unit last Friday plus booked our medicals. So that clock has started ticking…..
We start ours in under 3 hours as I write this – still at work but will be heading home shortly as got a couple of things I want to do before I head out to the unit for 6.30pm. T is of course coming straight from work – and has promised me he will get away as quickly as he can – his shop shuts at 6pm. I suspect he has talked to the social worker already as he was the one to sort out our feedback session -which was awkward given the fact that I stopped one day due to a PhD viva and the second day could only make afternoon as I am lecturing in morning. November has turned into a hectic month what with the prep course, the usual MSc board of examiners for me to chair (that’s tomorrow), 2 PhD vivas where I am internal examiner and a placement student to visit. On top of my usual increased workload due to 2 modules being block taught in weeks 7 – 12. Such is life – hence one of the reasons I was semi-hoping for a prep course after Christmas. But as we said at the time if we were offered November we would make it work so we shall.
Will probably post again tomorrow after first evening. H is arriving tomorrow as well I believe given the alumni event on Friday which is good as T will have company on Thursday while I am other end of the country on visit.
P.S. Got that official application form in soon after we got it – and I took CRB forms + relevant documents to the unit last Friday plus booked our medicals. So that clock has started ticking…..
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Start of things
Well to be accurate it all started in December 2011 when we attended the Information evening at our LA. My sister & brother-in-law adopted through them and we decided it was the route for us once it had been confirmed that all the professionals could do for us was offer IVF which is not a route we wanted to take. T (my husband) is not a believer in it in circumstances like ours, and also hormonal medication messes with me something badly.
So off we went to the evening and expressed an interest which led to the first social worker meeting. There was an immediate setback (delay really) at that point when it turned out I had not dealt as well with some lingering issues due to childhood as well as I thought I had. Luckily I can get free counselling through work so went down that route and finally we got recommended to go forward earlier this month. The delay was very good as where T works got sold to another company at end of April so he has had a stressful few months. Expected to be on prep course in the new year although SW did say she would ask for next months. I got a phone call last Thursday ( after fire drill) from Adoption & Fostering from the adminstrator to say we had places on the course. Got the dates & times from her (3 full days & 2 evenings at either end plus feedback) then immediately rang T before I went haring off round work to sort out my end. Last full day not too bad (just project meetings to move & lecture to cancel). Other 2 days involve re-scheduling lecture (only person) and asking colleagues nicely to stand in for me as I should be running poster assessments. All sorted and informed the relevant people as well. Things moved a bit quicker than I expected.
Now sorting out children experience – hopefully going back to my original Brownie unit & possibly volunteering at local school. Plus more reading around and reminding myself why we went into this in first place. Asked our referees who are all happy to be so, so just photos to do and then official application goes in. The clock starts from there….Scary….
So off we went to the evening and expressed an interest which led to the first social worker meeting. There was an immediate setback (delay really) at that point when it turned out I had not dealt as well with some lingering issues due to childhood as well as I thought I had. Luckily I can get free counselling through work so went down that route and finally we got recommended to go forward earlier this month. The delay was very good as where T works got sold to another company at end of April so he has had a stressful few months. Expected to be on prep course in the new year although SW did say she would ask for next months. I got a phone call last Thursday ( after fire drill) from Adoption & Fostering from the adminstrator to say we had places on the course. Got the dates & times from her (3 full days & 2 evenings at either end plus feedback) then immediately rang T before I went haring off round work to sort out my end. Last full day not too bad (just project meetings to move & lecture to cancel). Other 2 days involve re-scheduling lecture (only person) and asking colleagues nicely to stand in for me as I should be running poster assessments. All sorted and informed the relevant people as well. Things moved a bit quicker than I expected.
Now sorting out children experience – hopefully going back to my original Brownie unit & possibly volunteering at local school. Plus more reading around and reminding myself why we went into this in first place. Asked our referees who are all happy to be so, so just photos to do and then official application goes in. The clock starts from there….Scary….
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