On the road to adoption
Talking about our path towards & beyond adoption ....
Friday 18 October 2013
Intros Day 12
I did wake him up when we got back and he had a bit of lunch before happily playing around the house - not really registering when T dived out to put another cheque in bank that had arrived in post today. We had discussions over climbing on furniture in shoes and jumping on it as well - allowed to bounce on Mummy & daddy but not solo. he also managed to start climbing up shelves at one point - can see we are going to be having numerous discussions about this until he gets it. As advised by brother-in-law we are picking our battles carefully - really concentrating on the ones where there is a chance of harm coming to him for now. So holding one of our hands when on roads or in shops and not jumping around on furniture (already fallen and banged his head once). His FC arrived with most of the rest of his stuff and her other two kids as agreed. They got a tour of the house - partly led by the boy but also by me and played a bit with his stuff before they left for final dinner at Pizza Hut.
We then spent some time sorting out clothes into age sizes - making sure that only the ones that are his size went into the cupboard, drawers & wardrobe. My sister got some of the smaller stuff as her younger son is 10 months younger than the boy. Going to ask around the adopters we know with smaller boys about the even younger stuff. Kept a few important things back but mainly we have enough stuff in storage for the next 2 sizes which my elder nephew has grown out of that we do not want to keep stuff that is too small. We then took ourselves to the pub for a last meal for a while as a couple and spent some time afterwards sat just chatting.
This has been a strange 12 days - but as DH put it earlier when we were sat talking to my sister & brother-in-law (also adopters) now comes the new reality as of 9am in the morning.
Thursday 17 October 2013
Intros Day 11
Rest of day went equally well - went to local park and fed the ducks - well geese mainly in case of the boy. He did however manage to measure his length twice by running along and not being completely balanced. No crying - just when we insisted he took a hand when a car was around and we were on road. Then off to do weekly shop which was interesting given his dislike of staying in the trolley, or holding hands. Can see onlien shopping being the way forward with an occassional quick visit for bits as coping with him by myself would not be fun. Anyway after all that he had snacked a fair amount, and fell asleep in car on way home. He'd been up at 5.30 so we let him sleep - woke up when I got him out the car at home, but a few minutes snuggling with Mummy in rocking chair and he was back to sleep again. Once again he showed that he has some bond to me as I could soothe him and get him back to sleep. Meant we got our lunch in peace.
Wednesday 16 October 2013
Intros Day 10
Eventually we set off for T's pharmacy - he didn't fall asleep quite as quickly today but was asleep by the time we arrived. However he woke up again and was very glad to see Daddy. Spent about 30 mins or so there - we ran in circles round the shop floor (only one customer me in during time we were there). He went through to dispensary in T's arms and had it explained to him that he should not go through there without one of us.
Drove back with a sleeping boy but arrived home in heavy rain so the boy woke up when I got him out the car and promptly stayed awake. Another fun afternoon of playing with cars and bouncing on Mummy ensued. He came into kitchen with me as I prepared the evening meal for us all. Fed him at his usual time and was pleased when he enjoyed the meal - it was something I'd been told he would eat but wasn't sure he would et my version :) I fed him most of two yoghurts although he managed part of the second himself as I had to answer the door. Played a bit more before he had his bath which he really enjoyed and didn't want to get out of. Just got him dressed in pyjamas when Daddy arrived home which he loved. Eventually we had to reluctantly take him back to FC's.
Review meeting tomorrow and then full day with us both. Hoping for move in on Saturday....
Tuesday 15 October 2013
Intros Day 9
How did today go? Well I feel. The boy & FC arrived as expected - with another load of stuff - including first set of clothes. FC left with boy being pretty upset as she went - I tried to soothe him and was starting to get laughter as well as tears when his SW arrived. After about 15 mins he was fine - distracted him with the glass pebbles in glass bowl on our windowsill which he'd played with yesterday - posting them all behind the fire guard then. Today it was down gap in radiator - but it kept him amused and heered him up. His SW didn't stay very long but by the time she went he was happy.
We spent the morning playing - and investigating the house more. Again Henry-cat was very patient as the boy fussed him sat on our bed. We played with cars all over the house and watched Fireman Sam snuggled together on the settee. He bounced on me and with my help on the floor. He loves me holding him under arms and bouncing. We played peekabo round the lounge curtain and hide and seek round the dining table. Lots of eye contact as I could get it.
Getting lunch he came into kitchen with me and tried to open doors and drawers - very glad we had safety locks on them all. We ate and raced on a banana at end. Then it was into the car and off to T's pharmacy. The boy feel asleep on the way, woke up after we arrived and then feel asleep in Daddy's arms. So not much of a visit but was pleased to see Daddy. Tomorrow I have decided we go before lunch in the hope he will be awake to see T. Coming back he slept more, woke up when I got him out the car seat and out of his coat. I brought him upstairs to his bedroom and sat down in the rocking chair with him in my arms. He snuggled down and feel asleep on me - tears in my eyes at this point. Eventually I moved him onto the bed and he slept till about 15 mins before FC was due to pick him up when I woke him up. Changed nappy and took him down where he watched a bit more Fireman Sam, which gave FC and I chance to put his slide & swing into garage. The boy gave me a kiss and a cuddle before he left.
Tomorrow I get to pick him up from FCs and then we spend the entire day together - dropping him back at bedtime so he should see Daddy twice. Last day of T working for 11 days - not been ideal during Intros but all agreed best for the boy as otherwise respite would have been needed.
Monday 14 October 2013
Intros Day 8
Today was my first day flying solo as T had to work. Also first day at our house - FC stayed as well. After a bit of kerfufle finding us (miscommunication over address) they arrived fine. The boy was alright - I'd got some of his toys out and about on lounge floor so it was at least some familiar stuff. We also explored the whole house and Henry-cat was very patient taking several/minutes fussing before deciding to hide. This was useful as the boy is not used to cats. He did get clingy to FC around lunchtime - general feeling was he was tired so we put him in our buggy after lunch and wandered up to the local park. He had a lot of fun running round trying out everything but fell asleep on short walk back. So I lifted him out of buggy, and brought him into house to lay on his bed. He came to as I lifted him up and as I took his coat of but washappy nough to snuggle back to sleep. FC and I chatted while he slept till I had to wake him so they could get out of our estate before local primary school finished. Chaos does not decsibe the roads at that point and they needed to be back in time to meet other 2 foster children off school bus.
All in all I felt today went ok - was expecting clingyness as he is confused and his secure base is FC at moment. Hopefully tomorrow will b easier when she leave him here. Got his SW coming in morning and then we are taking a trip to see Daddy at work, The boy was asking for T today which is the other reason he was clinging to FC as he has a much stronger attachment at the moment to his Daddy. I've got the time to work on that though.
This evening T attached a hook & eye to our downstairs cloakroom door as the boy kept going in there. We also have put eyes at top & bottom of stack of drawers in dining room so we can tie handles together as the boy also kept opening them. Otherwise fairly child-proofed house - at least on first visit :)
Sunday 13 October 2013
Intros Day 7
Saturday 12 October 2013
Intros Day 6
Friday 11 October 2013
Intros Day 5
Today has been another great day. Arrived spent a few minutes in the house and then trundled off for the day. Ended up at Eureka spending most of the day we had there - just ensuring we left in time to get back to FC for tea. He loved the cars & trucks - and the alien in Soundscape. So we spent lots of time chasing him up and down between the 2. He slept on the way - and I just managed to keep him awake on the way home.
Annoyed with our SW who we told this morning not to say anything about us tag-teaming with the other 2 last night. We were expecting it so were not worried but our SW was more concerned and talked to FC's SW who talked to FC while we were out. Not what we wanted at all - as we said to FC this evening before leaving we were fine, expecting this and have dealt with. I showed T evening routine this evening. He will see morning routine tomorrow and will show me eventually - but it is going to be his time with the boy - particularly once I am back at work as I am out house 7.15ish.