Friday, 23 November 2012

Adoption Prep Course Pt. 5

The last evening of the course which was last night. Didn't start out well for me as I was still chasing out students from lab at 5.50pm and needed to be at unit at 6.30pm – it was raining hard so wasn't certain how good it would be. In end was fine but did stress me out a little – in fact I was third person to arrive – and T beat some others as well. Main part of evening was an adopted young man (just 18) with his mother coming to talk to us about his experience. He was very open and honest about the issues he had starting around 14 and the help he got from the after adoption support people to do some life work so he could understand where he came from (adopted aged 6 months and no lifebook). He told us that his Mum had talked about adoption for as long as he could really remember and built it up gradually in an age-appropriate way whereas someone he knew at school had it all flung at him at once. He was really good about the way he felt like a part of his adoptive family and for now had no real desire to find out about his birth family His older (adopted) brother has done so but partly because he has a baby on the way and wanted to know more for that reason. He also emphasised how valuable adoption was and how he encouraged us all to move forward with it if we were 100% committed. It was fascinating listening to him I will admit and really struck home about how close he was to his family.

The final exercise was for us all to write down one thing we had go from the course – which for me was the emphasis on communication & using support. Others talked about the humanisation of the process through the speakers form all parts of the adoption circle – several talked about the adoptive parents as being the real highlight. Also the group and the bonds we have formed through sharing together our learning. All in all I found it a worthwhile course and am now looking forward to the next step. Well feedback first which is a week today.

Got the emailed SEF now so starting to fill bits in – N is going to give me all the stuff she has on our chronology – after all no need to get Mum to do the work again – so the only thing I have to check is when we moved that firts time– other than knowing it must be late ’76 as Mum was pregnant with N (every time she was pregnant she moved!!). Then just to think about a lot of things – apparently the more we can put down on the form the better for our SW so we will spend time doing it.

PS we both got our extended CRBs back with nothing on them as we knew would be the case. But that is another hurdle over with along with the medicals we had Monday/Tuesday. Bit of an annoyance with mine in that the blood pressure did a sudden spike ( no headache) but sent T in with normal readings from later on in evening (117/75).

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